The Best "Your Mama" Jokes to Roast & Toast with Laughter

If you’re on the hunt for the best “your mama” jokes, you’ve landed in the perfect spot.

Whether you’re looking to roast your friends in a playful way or just need a good laugh, we’ve got you covered.

These jokes are lighthearted, fun, and guaranteed to make any conversation ten times more entertaining.

Let’s dive into the world of classic “your mama” jokes, featuring everything from hilarious comebacks to social media-worthy zingers.

Your Mama is So Fat, Even Gravity Gave Up

Your mama is so fat, when she sits around the house, she really sits AROUND the house
Your mama is so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says one at a time, please
Your mama is so fat, when she goes to the beach, whales start singing her national anthem
Your mama is so fat, even her shadow has a double chin
Your mama is so fat, when she wears high heels, she strikes oil
Your mama is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought World War III started
Your mama is so fat, when she gets on a roller coaster, they have to build a second track
Your mama is so fat, when she leaves the house, she has to turn sideways just to get through the doorway
Your mama is so fat, when she wears yellow, people wave at her thinking she’s a school bus
Your mama is so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion
Your mama is so fat, when she gets out of bed, the mattress sighs in relief
Your mama is so fat, when she goes skydiving, people think it’s an eclipse
Your mama is so fat, when she shops online, she crashes the website
Your mama is so fat, Google had to add a “Street View” just for her
Your mama is so fat, she doesn’t need WiFi because she’s always well-connected

Your Mama is So Lazy, She Makes a Sloth Look Like a Marathon Runner

Your mama is so lazy, she waits for the microwave to cook for her
Your mama is so lazy, she sleeps on the couch just to avoid walking to bed
Your mama is so lazy, she doesn’t even chew her food—she just lets it dissolve
Your mama is so lazy, she uses voice commands just to text “LOL”
Your mama is so lazy, she took a nap in the middle of a blink
Your mama is so lazy, she bought a self-driving car just to avoid pressing the gas pedal
Your mama is so lazy, when she drops food on her shirt, she calls it a “snack for later”
Your mama is so lazy, she lets Netflix ask if she’s still watching—then just waits for autoplay
Your mama is so lazy, she orders fast food just to avoid making a sandwich
Your mama is so lazy, when asked to do something, she responds, “I’ll do it in my dreams”
Your mama is so lazy, she waits for the remote to get closer instead of getting up
Your mama is so lazy, she tells people her exercise routine is “mentally preparing” for a workout
Your mama is so lazy, she uses a grabber tool to get the TV remote that’s a foot away
Your mama is so lazy, she puts an ice cube in her coffee so she doesn’t have to blow on it
Your mama is so lazy, her New Year’s resolution is to “try again next year”

Your Mama is So Old, She Owes Jesus a Favor

Your mama is so old, her birth certificate says “Expired”
Your mama is so old, her first pet was a dinosaur
Your mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince
Your mama is so old, she has a signed copy of the Bible
Your mama is so old, her social security number is 1
Your mama is so old, she has a selfie with Moses
Your mama is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was just sick
Your mama is so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper
Your mama is so old, she remembers when the moon was brand new
Your mama is so old, she taught history class in person
Your mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they offered to buy her
Your mama is so old, she has fossils that she calls baby pictures
Your mama is so old, her memories are in black and white
Your mama is so old, her first car was a Flintstones’ footmobile
Your mama is so old, she helped Noah build the ark

Your Mama is So Ugly, Even Mirrors Need Therapy

Your mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection runs away
Your mama is so ugly, even her shadow is scared of her
Your mama is so ugly, when she walks into a haunted house, the ghosts run out
Your mama is so ugly, she makes onions cry
Your mama is so ugly, when she goes to a zoo, the animals start whispering
Your mama is so ugly, her baby pictures are still considered crime scene evidence
Your mama is so ugly, her face was pixelated in real life
Your mama is so ugly, when she walked into the room, even silence got awkward
Your mama is so ugly, she was used as the “before” picture in beauty ads
Your mama is so ugly, when she wakes up, the sun refuses to rise
Your mama is so ugly, the Grim Reaper himself refuses to collect her
Your mama is so ugly, even medusa looked away
Your mama is so ugly, she has to trick Face ID to unlock her phone
Your mama is so ugly, even her dreams have nightmares
Your mama is so ugly, when she entered a beauty contest, they said, “Sorry, no professionals allowed”

Your Mama is So Broke, Even Monopoly Money Looks Like a Fortune

Your mama is so broke, she goes to KFC just to lick other people’s fingers
Your mama is so broke, when she opens her wallet, moths come out
Your mama is so broke, she waves at ATM machines hoping for a miracle
Your mama is so broke, even Dollar Tree rejected her credit card
Your mama is so broke, she prints out her own coupons—by hand
Your mama is so broke, her piggy bank is on a diet
Your mama is so broke, she eats cereal with a fork just to save milk
Your mama is so broke, she borrows money from the tooth fairy
Your mama is so broke, she looks at restaurant menus just to imagine the taste
Your mama is so broke, even her dreams are in layaway
Your mama is so broke, when she saw a sign that said “free Wi-Fi,” she set up camp
Your mama is so broke, she went to a garage sale and asked for a payment plan
Your mama is so broke, she counts the change before saying “Keep the change”
Your mama is so broke, she eats ramen without the noodles
Your mama is so broke, she wears flip-flops just to save on socks

Your Mama is So Dumb, She Thought a Quarterback Was a Refund

Your mama is so dumb, she stared at a cup of orange juice because it said “concentrate”
Your mama is so dumb, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind
Your mama is so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew
Your mama is so dumb, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company
Your mama is so dumb, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it
Your mama is so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
Your mama is so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund
Your mama is so dumb, when she heard it was chilly outside, she grabbed a spoon
Your mama is so dumb, she sold her car for gas money
Your mama is so dumb, she thought a TV remote was a passport to the channels
Your mama is so dumb, she tried to save a fish from drowning
Your mama is so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook
Your mama is so dumb, she thought a meme was something you eat
Your mama is so dumb, she stayed up all night to see what happened at the “End of Day” sale
Your mama is so dumb, she put sugar on her bed because she wanted sweet dreams

Conclusion:

There you have it—some of the best “your mama” jokes to crack up your friends! Share these with your buddies, lighten up a chat, or drop them in a group text to bring instant laughs. Have a favorite? Let us know and keep the joke train rolling