You’ve wandered the wastelands of the internet looking for The Last of Us jokes, and guess what? You just hit the jackpot.
Whether you cried in Episode 3, shouted at Joel’s choices, or whispered “shiv time” like a war chant—this post is for you. These jokes go beyond your typical zombie zingers—they’re packed with twists, punchlines, and post-apocalyptic flair.
And because even the end of the world deserves some sparkle, each section includes 15 short Barbie quotes crafted specifically for clickers, chaos, and Cordyceps fashion.
🧔 Joel & Ellie Comedy – Apocalypse’s Most Chaotic Duo
Let’s face it: Joel’s grumpiness and Ellie’s pun book carried the emotional weight of a mushroom-infested world. Now, let’s turn that weight into laughs.
Joke:
Joel: “Stay close.”
Ellie: wanders off, throws a brick, starts a pun competition with raiders
Joel: “This is why I have grey hair… and we’re low on bricks.”
Joke:
Ellie: “I found this pun book!”
Joel: “We’re surrounded by infected.”
Ellie: “Exactly. Time to kill… with laughter.”
They survive. Somehow.
Joke:
Joel’s love language is wood planks.
He doesn’t say “I care.”
He just silently builds bridges across broken buildings.
Barbie’s Apocalypse Dad Energy Quotes:
- Bricks? I prefer emotional walls
- I survive with sass and sarcasm
- Joel taught me stealth, I taught him style
- My only weapon? Verbal grenades
- I bond over trauma and good brows
- Mushroom apocalypse, but make it sentimental
- Every pun is a power move
- Ellie’s sarcasm > flamethrowers
- Joel builds bridges—I burn them in style
- Parenting by grunting
- Ellie’s jokes are deadly and iconic
- We laugh, we loot, we slay
- Brick by brick, pun by pun
- Protective dad mode: activated
- Cordyceps fear the dad jokes
🧟 Clicker Comedy – Fungal Friends with Terrible Table Manners
Clickers: they can’t see, but they sure know how to ruin a vibe. Let’s hear it for the fungus that screams.
Joke:
Clickers don’t need vision.
They detect you through:
- Sound
- Smell
- And your lack of crafting skills.
Joke:
A clicker and a bloater walk into a building.
They both explode.
Guess it was a blast.
Joke:
Why did the clicker get dumped?
Because it kept bringing up old spores.
Joke:
Clicker: “SKREEEEEE”
Me: “Same, girl. Same.”
Barbie’s Fungus-Fighting One-Liners:
- Spores? Not in this skincare routine
- I don’t run—I sparkle away
- Clickers click, I click heels
- Survival mode: stunning
- I stealth like it’s Fashion Week
- Clickers fear my glitter bombs
- Bricks are my BFF
- Infected? More like uninvited
- High heels, low profile
- I navigate like a queen of quiet
- This outfit is clicker-camouflaged
- Who needs night vision when you’re radiant?
- Fungi? I prefer florals
- I loot with luxury
- If I scream, it’s on brand
🏚️ Apocalypse Problems – The Struggle is Mushrooms
You think your Mondays are hard? Try rationing beef jerky while dodging bloater barf in a hotel basement.
Joke:
I finally found a working toilet.
It screamed louder than a clicker.
Turns out… it was a clicker.
Lesson learned: never sit without scanning.
Joke:
They told me to travel light.
So I packed:
- One medkit
- Five shivs
- A flamethrower
- Three emotional support snacks
(Still forgot my toothbrush.)
Joke:
The apocalypse diet:
Whatever you can eat before it bites you.
Barbie’s Survival Sass Quotes:
- I bug out, but in style
- Campfire couture is a vibe
- Gas mask chic
- Looting is my cardio
- My backpack has more drama than HBO
- Camo can be cute
- Mushrooms in my food? Traumatizing
- Hygiene is optional, lip gloss is not
- Apocalypse or runway rehearsal? You decide
- I boil water and slay
- Duct tape = DIY survival + flair
- Fashionably late to every raid
- My immune system wears heels
- I ration mascara, not joy
- I rebuild society one outfit at a time
🔫 Combat Jokes – Fighting Dirty (and Fabulous)
Guns, shivs, and Molotov cocktails… and that’s just before breakfast.
Joke:
Me: “I’m gonna stealth this mission.”
Also me: Trips over bottle, alerts two raiders, panics, sets self on fire.
Stealth: ✔️ish.
Joke:
Crafted a nail bomb.
Threw it.
Forgot to run.
Blew up… fashionably.
Joke:
Raider: “She’s alone and outnumbered!”
Me: laughs in crafting menu
Five seconds later: They weren’t wrong. But they were on fire.
Barbie’s Battle Cry Quotes:
- I shiv in style
- Combat boots never clash
- Shotgun shimmer
- Reload and strut
- Bricks are my aesthetic
- Tactical AND fabulous
- I sneak like a catwalk model
- Style points > headshots
- Crafting queen
- Fire in my eyes and hands
- I dodge AND dazzle
- Enemies fear my contour
- Every explosion has a sparkle
- I reload to the beat
- Stealth kills, loud fashion
😢 Sad but Savage – Cry, But With Eyeliner
It’s not The Last of Us without at least one soul-shattering moment. Let’s laugh… through the tears.
Joke:
Watched the giraffe scene.
Said I wouldn’t cry.
Now I own five plush giraffes and cry weekly.
Joke:
Joel: “Don’t get attached.”
Me: Names every NPC, writes their backstory, makes a playlist, sobs when they die.
Joke:
Ellie said a pun.
I laughed.
Then remembered what happened last episode.
Now I’m ugly crying with glitter.
Barbie’s Emotionally Wrecked Rants:
- My mascara runs only for character deaths
- I cry with contour
- Emotional damage, but in HD
- Tears = waterproof tested
- Giraffe scene broke me
- Feelings with flair
- Sadness is my side quest
- Sobbed so hard, I respawned
- I mourn in monochrome
- Tragic but fabulous
- I cry like it’s a feature, not a bug
- Grief with glitter
- Every pun wounds me
- Ellie’s trauma = my trauma
- Broken inside, bold outside
🔬 Cordyceps & Science – Mushroom Mayhem Meets Medical Mishaps
Let’s not forget: The Last of Us started because someone microwaved the wrong fungus.
Joke:
Cordyceps: A fungus that hijacks your brain.
So basically… like my group chats.
Joke:
Scientists: “We might have a cure.”
Also scientists: “But first, let’s turn the child into a science experiment.”
Me: “Have we tried… not doing that?”
Joke:
Cordyceps spreads through flour.
Which means, yes—your sourdough starter betrayed you.
Barbie’s Biohazard Sass:
- I majored in Mushroom Avoidance
- Fungi don’t do fashion
- Spores? I sneeze in style
- Science didn’t prepare for me
- I sanitize with sparkle
- Gas masks are my accessory
- My blood type is glitter
- Cordyceps ain’t cute
- Infection, but I still slay
- I’m immune to bad vibes
- My cure is confidence
- Petri dish, but pretty
- Spores vs. sparkles
- I avoid mushrooms AND drama
- I research with rhinestones
🧬 Final Thoughts:
You just survived the apocalypse… in joke form. From screaming clickers to emotionally damaged dads and mushroom metaphors, you did it all—with sass.
But here’s the real twist:
Laughter is the best resistance.
So, which joke infected your funny bone?
Share it with a fellow survivor. Or gift it to your emotionally unavailable friend who lowkey is Joel.
