Ever found yourself scrolling endlessly, looking for the funniest Pepito jokes to spice up your day?
Well, congratulations—you’ve hit the jackpot! Pepito is the king of mischievous humor, always outsmarting teachers, parents, and just about everyone else.
If you need a good laugh or a clever comeback, you’re in the right place. Let’s dive into some hilarious Pepito jokes that you can share with friends, post on social media, or just enjoy for yourself!
Pepito in School – When the Teacher Has No Chance
- Teacher: Pepito, use ‘harassment’ in a sentence.
Pepito: The teacher asked a question, but I didn’t know harassment. - Teacher: If you had five chocolates and gave three to your friend, what would you have?
Pepito: A broken friendship. - Teacher: What comes after 69?
Pepito: Mouthwash! - Teacher: If I had 10 apples and someone took away 6, what would they have?
Pepito: A black eye. - Teacher: What do you call someone who keeps talking even when nobody is interested?
Pepito: A teacher. - Teacher: What’s the longest word in the dictionary?
Pepito: Smiles—because there’s a mile between the S’s. - Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “T”.
Pepito: Today and Tomorrow. - Teacher: Define ‘Sarcasm’.
Pepito: Oh wow, what a great question. - Teacher: What’s the formula for water?
Pepito: H I J K L M N O (H to O). - Teacher: Can you name all 50 states?
Pepito: Of course! But let’s save time—I’ll name five. - Teacher: How do you spell ‘crocodile’?
Pepito: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: That’s wrong!
Pepito: Maybe, but you asked how I spell it. - Teacher: What is the capital of France?
Pepito: F. - Teacher: If you had one dollar and asked your dad for another, how much would you have?
Pepito: One dollar. My dad doesn’t give me money. - Teacher: What is an example of a collective noun?
Pepito: A classroom of disappointed students.
Pepito and His Parents – Master of Mischief
Pepito might just be every parent’s biggest challenge—and also their greatest source of laughter!
- Mom: Did you clean your room?
Pepito: I cleaned my side. The mess belongs to my imaginary friend. - Dad: Why is your report card wet?
Pepito: Because it’s below C level. - Mom: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Pepito: Rich, so I can afford therapy after all this stress. - Dad: Where’s your homework?
Pepito: In my heart, but my heart got broken. - Mom: Why is there water all over the floor?
Pepito: I was helping the fish take a walk. - Dad: Did you learn anything at school today?
Pepito: Not enough to go back tomorrow. - Mom: Why did you color the dog blue?
Pepito: Because he was feeling down. - Dad: I need you to be responsible.
Pepito: I am! Every time something goes wrong, they say I’m responsible. - Mom: Who broke the TV?
Pepito: Gravity. - Dad: What happened to the car?
Pepito: It lost an argument with a tree. - Mom: Go outside and play!
Pepito: But the WiFi signal is stronger inside. - Dad: You need to start saving money.
Pepito: That’s impossible—I haven’t started making money. - Mom: Be nice to your sister!
Pepito: Define ‘nice’. - Dad: Why are you eating so much?
Pepito: Because I’m hungry.
Dad: You just ate!
Pepito: That was breakfast. Now it’s pre-lunch. - Mom: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Pepito: In the mirror.
Pepito and Love – The Ultimate Romantic (or Not)
- Girl: Do you believe in love at first sight?
Pepito: I believe in running at first sight of commitment. - Teacher: What is ‘true love’?
Pepito: When your mom lets you take extra food home from a party. - Friend: What’s your idea of a perfect date?
Pepito: One where she pays. - Girlfriend: Do you love me?
Pepito: Depends, is this a test? - Mom: When are you getting married?
Pepito: As soon as I find someone who can tolerate my jokes. - Girl: Would you die for me?
Pepito: Let’s not rush things. - Friend: Why are you single?
Pepito: Because I refuse to share my fries. - Girlfriend: What’s the most romantic thing you’ve done?
Pepito: Saved my food to share later. - Girl: What do you look for in a woman?
Pepito: One who doesn’t ask too many questions. - Girlfriend: What would you do if I left?
Pepito: Rejoice in my newfound financial freedom. - Girl: I want someone who will protect me.
Pepito: I can hold your purse while you fight. - Girlfriend: How do you feel about marriage?
Pepito: It’s like a WiFi password—complicated and full of restrictions. - Friend: Describe love in one word.
Pepito: Expensive. - Girl: What do you want in a relationship?
Pepito: Loyalty and unlimited snacks. - Girlfriend: Am I your priority?
Pepito: Right after food and WiFi.
Pepito and the Doctor – A Prescription for Laughter
- Doctor: Pepito, you need to stop eating junk food.
Pepito: Okay, I’ll start eating it in a more organized way. - Doctor: You need more exercise. Try running.
Pepito: I run… late, every morning. - Doctor: Do you drink water?
Pepito: Of course! It’s the main ingredient in my coffee. - Doctor: You need to eat more vegetables.
Pepito: I do! My burger always has lettuce. - Doctor: You need to stop stressing so much.
Pepito: I’ll stress about that later. - Doctor: Do you get enough sleep?
Pepito: Yes, I take power naps all day at work. - Doctor: Your eyesight is bad.
Pepito: Then stop showing me the bill. - Doctor: How often do you exercise?
Pepito: Every time I see a spider, I run. - Doctor: Describe your eating habits.
Pepito: I eat three times a day, plus snacks, plus second snacks, plus emergency snacks. - Doctor: Are you allergic to anything?
Pepito: Yes, hard work. - Doctor: You need a balanced diet.
Pepito: Okay, one burger in each hand. - Doctor: How often do you check your weight?
Pepito: Every time I step on the scale, and it screams. - Doctor: You need to drink more water.
Pepito: But I get thirsty after drinking water, so I drink soda instead. - Doctor: You need to relax more.
Pepito: That’s what weekends are for! Wait… I work weekends. - Doctor: You should meditate.
Pepito: I do! I sit quietly and think about food.
Pepito and Money – The Budgeting Genius
Pepito’s financial advice should probably come with a disclaimer: “Follow at your own risk.”
- Mom: Where did your money go?
Pepito: It took a vacation. - Friend: How do you save money?
Pepito: I don’t. I let it live its best life. - Bank Teller: Your balance is low.
Pepito: Same with my energy and motivation. - Friend: What’s your financial goal?
Pepito: To have money. - Mom: Stop wasting money!
Pepito: Okay, I’ll waste yours instead. - Friend: How much money do you have saved?
Pepito: Enough to survive for five minutes. - ATM: Would you like a receipt?
Pepito: No thanks, I already know I’m broke. - Friend: How do you budget?
Pepito: I don’t. I just close my eyes and hope for the best. - Dad: Money doesn’t grow on trees!
Pepito: Then why do banks have branches? - Cashier: Your total is $9.99.
Pepito: Perfect, I have $1.99. - Friend: What’s your financial strategy?
Pepito: Pray for a miracle. - Mom: Why are you always broke?
Pepito: Because money and I have a long-distance relationship. - Bank: Your account is overdrawn.
Pepito: Great, now it matches my energy. - Friend: Why don’t you invest your money?
Pepito: Because I’m waiting for my money to invest in me. - Mom: Where did your allowance go?
Pepito: To charity—my stomach.
Pepito and Technology – A Modern-Day Genius
Pepito’s relationship with technology is… complicated.
- Mom: Why are you on your phone all day?
Pepito: Because it’s loyal. - Dad: Stop staring at your screen!
Pepito: It’s staring at me first. - Friend: How do you fix WiFi issues?
Pepito: By yelling at the router. - Teacher: What’s the best way to learn?
Pepito: Google it. - Mom: Stop playing video games!
Pepito: I’m training for my future job. - Friend: Why is your phone always dead?
Pepito: Because it reflects my soul. - Tech Support: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Pepito: Have you tried giving me a new one? - Friend: Why do you text so much?
Pepito: Because talking is too much effort. - Mom: How do you always have WiFi?
Pepito: I have my ways. - Friend: Do you back up your phone?
Pepito: No, I just pray nothing happens. - Teacher: Why is your homework missing?
Pepito: I saved it as ‘Final Version’ and now I can’t find it. - Mom: Get off your phone and enjoy the real world!
Pepito: Does it have free WiFi? - Friend: How did you fix your laptop?
Pepito: By giving up and buying a new one. - Dad: You spend too much time online!
Pepito: Because it’s cheaper than outside. - Teacher: What’s your dream job?
Pepito: A professional Netflix watcher.
Final Words – Let’s Keep the Fun Going!
If you laughed at least once, mission accomplished! Share these jokes with your friends, post them on social media, and spread the joy. Got your own favorite Pepito joke? Drop it in the comments and let’s keep the fun rolling!
