The Ultimate Collection of Your Mama Jokes

Looking for the best your mama jokes to roast your friends or just have a good laugh? You’re in the right place.

Whether you’re cracking jokes at a party, in a group chat, or just need a quick pick-me-up, these jokes are guaranteed to bring some humor to your day.

Get ready for a mix of witty comebacks, social media-friendly zingers, and laugh-out-loud punchlines that will make anyone chuckle. Let’s dive in!

Your Mama So Fat Jokes That’ll Make You LOL

• Your mama so fat, when she goes outside, everyone screams total eclipse
• Your mama so big, she doesn’t need Wi-Fi, she’s already well-connected
• Your mama so fat, even gravity had to take a break
• Your mama so thick, her reflection takes a minute to show up
• Your mama so huge, when she steps on the scale, it says one at a time
• Your mama so wide, she gets group discounts at the buffet
• Your mama so big, when she sits down, Pluto becomes a planet again
• Your mama so heavy, when she jumps, the Earth says ouch
• Your mama so chunky, her shadow filed for unemployment
• Your mama so large, when she lays on the beach, the tide won’t come in
• Your mama so fat, when she plays hide and seek, she hides the entire room
• Your mama so plump, even her selfies need a panoramic mode
• Your mama so big, she has her own zip code
• Your mama so hefty, the GPS reroutes when she walks by
• Your mama so massive, her baby pictures had to be taken by satellite

Your Mama So Old Jokes That Stand the Test of Time

• Your mama so old, her first pet was a dinosaur
• Your mama so ancient, her birth certificate is written in hieroglyphs
• Your mama so old, she pre-ordered the Bible
• Your mama so elderly, her social security number is 1
• Your mama so vintage, she took driving lessons from the Flintstones
• Your mama so ancient, her first job was cave painting
• Your mama so prehistoric, she babysat for Yoda
• Your mama so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was just sick
• Your mama so aged, her yearbook was in black and white… before photos existed
• Your mama so historic, her favorite childhood game was surviving
• Your mama so ancient, she walked into a museum and the alarm went off
• Your mama so old, she still owes Moses five bucks
• Your mama so aged, she watched the first sunrise
• Your mama so historic, when she farts, dust comes out
• Your mama so ancient, she has a commemorative brick in Pompeii

Your Mama So Ugly Jokes That Are Just Too Good

• Your mama so ugly, even her reflection looks away
• Your mama so scary, horror movies use her face as a jump scare
• Your mama so hideous, she makes onions cry
• Your mama so frightening, when she looks out the window, the sun sets
• Your mama so ghastly, her dating profile got banned
• Your mama so unattractive, the mirror filed a restraining order
• Your mama so spooky, she walked past a cemetery, and the skeletons ran
• Your mama so ugly, Medusa turned to stone
• Your mama so terrifying, the boogeyman checks under his bed for her
• Your mama so revolting, even blind people turn away
• Your mama so creepy, ghosts refuse to haunt her house
• Your mama so grotesque, even makeup ran away
• Your mama so scary, she takes selfies in the dark to protect others
• Your mama so hideous, her shadow left her
• Your mama so awful-looking, the internet refused to load her pictures

Your Mama So Poor Jokes That Are Rich in Humor

• Your mama so poor, the bank gave her an IOU
• Your mama so broke, when she walked past the bank, they turned off the cameras
• Your mama so poor, she goes to KFC to lick other people’s fingers
• Your mama so broke, her wallet is full of IOUs
• Your mama so poor, the government asked her for a loan
• Your mama so broke, she can’t even afford to pay attention
• Your mama so poor, her idea of a home-cooked meal is licking a stamp
• Your mama so broke, her Happy Meal is just the box
• Your mama so poor, she waves around an empty wallet and calls it air money
• Your mama so broke, she had to sell her shadow for rent money
• Your mama so poor, she watches TV on other people’s windows
• Your mama so broke, she thought a quarter-pounder was a weightlifting challenge
• Your mama so poor, when I asked her what’s for dinner, she took me outside and pointed at the stars
• Your mama so broke, even Monopoly money laughed at her
• Your mama so poor, she uses bubble wrap as furniture

Your Mama So Short Jokes That Stand Tall

• Your mama so short, she uses a ruler as a walking stick
• Your mama so tiny, she has to jump on the curb
• Your mama so small, she went bungee jumping off a sidewalk
• Your mama so little, she gets a group discount at a daycare
• Your mama so petite, she can high-five ants
• Your mama so short, she gets lost in shag carpet
• Your mama so tiny, she uses a quarter as a yoga mat
• Your mama so small, she has to run around in the shower to get wet
• Your mama so short, she can limbo under a door closed shut
• Your mama so tiny, when she sneezes, she does a backflip
• Your mama so little, she needs a booster seat for a rollercoaster
• Your mama so short, she can hide behind a pencil
• Your mama so tiny, she has to borrow a cat’s litter box
• Your mama so little, her shadow is taller than her
• Your mama so small, she uses a Tic Tac as a pillow

Your Mama So Dumb Jokes That Are Smartly Hilarious

• Your mama so dumb, she stared at a cup of orange juice because it said concentrate
• Your mama so clueless, she tripped over a wireless internet connection
• Your mama so dense, she tried to climb Mountain Dew
• Your mama so slow, she thought Cheerios were doughnut seeds
• Your mama so clueless, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company
• Your mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept
• Your mama so clueless, she got locked in a grocery store and starved
• Your mama so slow, she went to the dentist for Bluetooth
• Your mama so dumb, she put paper on the TV and called it pay-per-view
• Your mama so dense, she bought a solar flashlight
• Your mama so clueless, she thought a quarterback was a refund
• Your mama so slow, she put sugar on the bed to have sweet dreams
• Your mama so dumb, she tried to surf the web with a surfboard
• Your mama so clueless, she thought Meow Mix was a rap album
• Your mama so dumb, she got hit by a parked car

Final Thoughts

Laughed enough? These your mama jokes are the perfect way to keep the humor going. Share them with friends, post them online, or save them for your next epic roast session. Got a favorite? Drop it in the comments and keep the laughs rolling!