If you searched for puns about time, you’re in the right place.
Time controls our mornings, workdays, and weekends, yet it’s also one of the funniest things to joke about.
From funny time jokes to dad jokes about time travel, this list covers everything you need—whether you’re preparing for a speech, entertaining kids, or just looking for a good laugh.
So let’s dive in, because ironically… we don’t have much time!
Funny Time Jokes and One-Liners
Looking for quick time one-liners that you can drop into conversation? These short jokes about time are light, witty, and perfect for both kids and adults.
- I once tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me.
- My clock is always hungry—it goes back four seconds.
- I told my watch a joke, but it didn’t have the time to laugh.
- Time and tide wait for no one, but Barbie makes them wait anyway.
- I wanted to be a clockmaker, but I didn’t have the hours.
- The past, present, and future walked into a bar—it was tense.
- Clocks are great at comedy—they always deliver on time.
- If you don’t pay attention, time will just pass you by.
- My calendar is so full, it needs a time diet.
- Why did the clock go to therapy? It had too many ticks.
- Time told a joke once—but no one got it, because it was ahead of them.
- I bought a watch last week, but it’s already second-hand.
- Time is like a selfie: you never get it back once it’s taken.
Clean Time Jokes for Kids and School
Teachers love clean time jokes for school, and kids enjoy funny time jokes they can actually share in class. Here’s a fun list.
- Why did the girl sit on her clock? She wanted to be on time.
- What do kids call a bedtime clock? A snooze boss.
- Why was the math book late to school? It lost track of time.
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Stopwatch. Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you’re doing and listen!
- What time is it when your clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.
- Why don’t kids ever fight time? Because it always wins.
- What did the big hand say to the little hand? See you in an hour.
- Why is Cinderella bad at soccer? Because she always runs away from the ball at midnight.
- When is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
- Why was the kid’s clock sticky? Because it was covered in second-hand jam.
- Knock knock! Who’s there? Time. Time who? Time to open the door.
- Why did the teacher bring a ladder to class? To reach high times.
- Why do clocks never get hungry? They always go back four seconds.
- What did one second say to another second? Don’t waste your time.
- Why do kids like clock jokes? Because they’re always timely.
Jokes About Time Travel ⏳
Everyone loves jokes about time travel, especially when they bend logic. Here are clever puns, twists, and dad jokes about time travel.
- I was going to tell you a time travel joke, but you didn’t like it.
- Time travelers are terrible comedians—they keep ruining the punchline in advance.
- I once met myself in the future, but I was too busy scrolling TikTok to say hi.
- Dad says he traveled to the future once. He saw me still cleaning my room.
- Time travel is confusing—I’m already late for tomorrow.
- My clock broke, so I traveled back an hour to fix it.
- Ken told Barbie a time travel joke, but she said she’d already heard it.
- Time travelers love Mondays—they just skip them.
- Why don’t time travelers need calendars? They can pick any day they like.
- Knock knock! Who’s there? It’s you… from the future.
- My past self told a joke, but only my future self laughed.
- Dad jokes about time travel are so bad… and they will always be.
- I told my teacher I traveled to the past—that’s why my homework isn’t ready.
- The problem with time travel? Everyone’s always running late.
- I scheduled a meeting with my future self, but he canceled.
Jokes About Time Passing and Flying
We’ve all said time flies—but these jokes about time passing quickly will make you laugh while the hours disappear.
- Time flies like an arrow, but procrastination flies like a rocket.
- I blinked once, and suddenly it was December.
- They say time flies when you’re having fun, but it also flies during boring Zoom meetings.
- Barbie says time flies only because it’s chasing her heels.
- My weekend lasted two minutes, but Monday lasted three years.
- Time doesn’t just fly—it pilots a jet.
- If time flies, then why doesn’t it ever buy a ticket?
- A week of vacation goes by faster than a single Monday morning.
- Why did the hour go to therapy? Because it passed too quickly.
- Time keeps flying, but my alarm clock never gets off the ground.
- I checked the clock, and three hours had passed in five minutes of Netflix.
- Waiting for food makes time crawl slower than a snail.
- Birthdays remind us that time doesn’t just fly—it also leaves wrinkles.
- Funny thing about time: it’s always running, but never gets tired.
- If time passes quickly, why doesn’t it ever get a speeding ticket?
Time Puns for Work, Birthdays, and Instagram
From time jokes for presentations to time puns for Instagram captions, these quips fit anywhere.
- Don’t waste my time—I’m already broke.
- Party hard—it’s about time.
- Time to shine like it’s my birthday.
- Work meetings are proof that time can stand still.
- Engineers don’t waste time—they just clock in.
- Teachers love clock jokes—they’re always class acts.
- You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a watch—it’s about time.
- Work deadlines prove that time is money, and I’m broke.
- For birthdays: another year older, but still timeless.
- For Instagram: serving looks one second at a time.
- In speeches: time is precious, so let me waste it with this joke.
- In presentations: timing is everything, except in my PowerPoint.
- My boss says be on time, but I prefer to be in style.
- At work: time flies until you clock in.
- Life’s too short not to pun about time.
Knock-Knock Time Jokes
Knock-knock jokes never get old, especially when they’re knock-knock jokes about time.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Stopwatch. Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you’re doing and listen!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Time. Time who? Time to laugh!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Clock. Clock who? Clock yourself before you wreck yourself.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Minute. Minute who? Minute of your time, please.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Future. Future who? Future gonna love this joke.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Hour. Hour who? Hour you doing today?
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Second. Second who? Second to none!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Day. Day who? Day light savings again?!
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Past. Past who? Past your bedtime.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Time flies. Time flies who? Yep, they just flew past.
FAQs About Time Jokes
What are some funny time jokes?
Some classics include: “Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana” and “I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went—then it dawned on me.”
Why are time jokes funny?
Because everyone experiences time—they’re relatable, universal, and perfect for work, kids, or even speeches.
What are the best time puns?
The best ones include lines like It’s about time, time flies, and waste of time.
How do you make a pun with time?
Simply play with common expressions like “time flies,” “out of time,” or “timeless.” Adding a twist makes it funny.
What time jokes are best for kids?
Clean ones: What time is it when your clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.
When should I use time jokes in conversation?
Use them to break the ice in speeches, lighten up boring work meetings, or even write time puns for Instagram captions.
Conclusion:
Time is serious business—but funny jokes about time remind us to laugh before the minutes slip away. Whether you needed time jokes for birthdays, dad jokes about time travel, or just short time jokes for adults, you’ve now got a full collection.
So don’t just keep them to yourself—share these with friends, coworkers, or even your teacher. Because laughter, like time, is best when shared.
