Looking for jokes about cars that are fun, fabulous, and totally unforgettable?

Whether you’re here for funny jokes about cars, dad jokes, or even a few cheesy zingers, you’re in the right place.

Barbie’s in the driver’s seat, and she’s bringing everything from kid-friendly quips to sassy blonde one-liners. Furthermore, these jokes are designed to rev your giggle engine—without needing a mechanic.

So let’s start this joyride, shall we?

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🚗 Classic Jokes About Cars That Never Rust

These timeless gems are perfect for anyone who’s ever turned the key and prayed their car would start. Moreover, they’re the perfect pit stop for funny jokes about cars and jokes about cars breaking down.

• My car didn’t start today, so I took it personally.
• I asked my engine to purr, and it meowed like a diva.
• I don’t break down, I simply take a glitter-filled pause.
• Warning lights are just car emojis asking for attention.
• I put the “drama” in drivetrain.
• My car coughs like it’s trying to gossip.
• I only pull over for selfies or snacks.
• My engine said no, so I said yes to Uber.
• If my tires squeal, it’s from excitement—not fear.
• When my check engine light comes on, I just wink back.
• I speak fluent sarcasm and squeaky brakes.
• Flat battery? No worries, I recharge with iced lattes.
• I treat potholes like surprise dance moves.
• Breaking down builds character—and calves if you push it.
• Tow trucks are just flirty SUVs with hero complexes.

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👨‍🔧 Best Dad Jokes About Cars (So Bad They’re Good)

Looking for dad jokes about cars? You’re in luck. These are so painfully punny, they’ll have you groaning in style.

• I told my car a joke—it muffled a laugh.
• I used to be a mechanic, but I couldn’t handle the pressure.
• Did you hear about the car that went to therapy? It had too many issues to exhaust.
• My car’s favorite genre? Brakes and blues.
• I was going to fix my car myself, but I auto-matically gave up.
• My steering wheel and I are in a turn-based relationship.
• Cars have rearview mirrors so dads can admire their own jokes.
• I told the GPS a dad joke—it rerouted.
• My car won’t start… guess it’s on brake.
• Did you hear about the hybrid? It has double the gas and double the guilt.
• Exhausted? So is my engine.
• I don’t speed—I time travel in dad mode.
• My car and I are alike—we both need alignment.
• I asked my tire how it’s feeling. It said inflated.
• My transmission ghosted me. Typical.

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🧒 Kids Jokes About Cars That Are Engine-eously Silly

Perfect for little speedsters! These jokes about cars for kids, knock knock jokes, and kid jokes about cars will make any playdate a pit stop party.

• Why did the car blush? Because it saw the other car’s bumper!
• Why don’t cars ever get tired? Because they come with four tires!
• Knock knock
  Who’s there?
  Vroom.
  Vroom who?
  Vroom vroom, I’m zooming into your driveway!
• What’s a car’s favorite food? Brake-fast!
• Why was the car so good at soccer? It had kickin’ tires!
• What do cars eat on hot days? Sundae-drives!
• Why did the van join the band? It had great wheels!
• How do race cars stay cool? They use a fan belt!
• What’s a car’s favorite game? Hide and squeak!
• Knock knock
  Who’s there?
  Diesel.
  Diesel who?
  Diesel jokes make me laugh!
• Why was the car a great comedian? It had timing!
• What’s the smallest part of a car? The mini-van!
• Why did the car fail art class? It couldn’t draw attention!
• Knock knock
  Who’s there?
  Hatch.
  Hatch who?
  Bless you!
• What did the stop sign say to the driver? Don’t push my buttons!

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💄 Cheesy Jokes About Cars for the Barbie in Every Garage

Calling all glam gals! These cheesy car jokes are dripping with glitter, sass, and just enough corniness to keep things fabulous.

• I put glitter in my oil—it runs smoother and sparkles harder.
• My horn isn’t broken—it’s just shy.
• If beauty were fuel, I’d be a Ferrari.
• I only brake for outfit checks.
• I call my car “lip gloss”—because it makes everything better.
• My engine runs on pink power and pretty lies.
• I don’t have GPS—I have Girl Power Sense.
• I accessorize my seatbelt with confidence.
• My car’s not loud—it’s dramatic.
• I steer better when I’m wearing heels.
• If elegance were a vehicle, I’d be the entire fleet.
• He drove me crazy, so I drove away.
• My car’s cupholder holds dreams, not just coffee.
• I park like a queen—diagonally and unapologetically.
• My dashboard has more attitude than his DMs.

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🤭 Dirty Jokes About Cars That Still Keep It Classy

Warning: These are just dirty enough. Great for adults looking for dirty jokes about cars with a wink of Barbie cheekiness.

• He said he could handle curves—until I took a sharp left.
• My gear shift isn’t the only thing I play with.
• I rev harder when he talks engines.
• He likes convertibles, I prefer commitment.
• I leave tire marks and broken hearts.
• I told him my trunk was full—he still asked what’s inside.
• I like my men like my cars—hard to steal and easy to handle.
• Wax on, clothes off.
• My backseat has better stories than my diary.
• He stalled—I accelerated.
• My spark plugs aren’t the only things that fire up.
• I’m high-maintenance and high-mileage.
• I let him check under the hood—he failed the inspection.
• He wanted a test drive, I wanted a title.
• My engine moans better than he does.

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💁‍♀️ Blonde Jokes About Cars That Barbie Owns

These aren’t your typical blonde jokes about cars—Barbie flips the narrative with sass and horsepower.

• Yes, I changed my tire. With rhinestones.
• I thought a lug nut was a fashion accessory.
• I don’t pump gas—I manifest it.
• My hair’s not the only thing that’s full volume.
• I confused the gas pedal with the glam pedal.
• I have more horsepower than his pick-up lines.
• I didn’t stall—I was just posing.
• GPS told me to turn right, so I made a dramatic U-turn.
• My wiper fluid is pink—obviously.
• Oil change? I thought you meant skincare.
• I check my mirrors—for selfies.
• I thought “manual” was a magazine.
• He said I was confusing. I said, “So is your engine noise.”
• I don’t parallel park—I paint runways.
• Sparkle is my warning light.

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🏁 Final Pit Stop:

From jokes about cars breaking down to kid-friendly knock-knock car jokes, this list had it all! If Barbie made you laugh—or even groan like a good ol’ dad joke—then don’t stall.

Share this ride of laughter with your besties, group chats, or car club. Laughter is the only thing you should never put in reverse.