Ever wondered why people search for cannibal jokes? Maybe you’re craving a laugh with a side of dark humor.

Well, you’ve found the right place!

You’re looking for a joke to roast your friends (pun intended) or just want a taste of something wickedly funny, this collection of cannibal jokes will satisfy your appetite for humor.

Now, let’s dig in before someone else does!

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Cannibal Jokes One Liners

• I tried to make a joke about cannibals, but it just didn’t have enough meat to it.
• Cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny.
• My cannibal friend only eats vegetarians. He says they’re “grass-fed.”
• Cannibals don’t send leftovers home—they send missing persons reports.
• I once met a cannibal comedian… his jokes always had a little bite.
• If a cannibal compliments your looks, should you be flattered or scared?
• Cannibals make terrible chefs—every meal is a family dinner.
• If you can’t beat them… well, the cannibals already thought of that.
• A cannibal went on a diet… he stopped eating cold turkey.
• I tried dating a cannibal once, but she just ghosted me… and then ate the ghost.
• My cannibal friend went vegan. Now he only eats people who do CrossFit.
• What do cannibals consider a well-balanced meal? One person per plate.
• I asked a cannibal for a cooking tip—he said, “Always start with a handshake.”
• That awkward moment when a cannibal says you look delicious… and he’s not flirting.
• My friend told me cannibals were gross, but I think they’re just misunderstood… and well-fed.

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Jokes About Cannibals

• Someone: I’d kill for a good steak
  Cannibal: Same, but make it a sirloin… of Steve.
• Someone: You eat like an animal!
  Cannibal: Thanks, I practice on humans.
• Someone: You’re a monster!
  Cannibal: Well, technically, I’m an omnivore.
• Someone: You wouldn’t eat me, would you?
  Cannibal: That depends… are you free-range?
• Someone: I bet you bite.
  Cannibal: Only on the first date.
• Someone: You’re sick!
  Cannibal: Actually, I’m full.
• Someone: You should be arrested!
  Cannibal: For what? Fine dining?
• Someone: That’s disgusting!
  Cannibal: Says the person eating bacon.
• Someone: You’d eat your own kind?!
  Cannibal: Haven’t you ever heard of soul food?
• Someone: What’s wrong with you?!
  Cannibal: Probably indigestion from my last meal.
• Someone: How do you live with yourself?
  Cannibal: Mostly with a side of potatoes.
• Someone: What’s your favorite meal?
  Cannibal: Fast food… runners taste the best.
• Someone: You need help.
  Cannibal: Preferably with seasoning.
• Someone: Do you have a guilty pleasure?
  Cannibal: Yes… guilt-free eating.
• Someone: You need therapy.
  Cannibal: Nah, I just need dessert.

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Dark Humor Cannibal Jokes

• Just had dinner with a cannibal… I was the main course.
• Cannibals make the best friends—they never let leftovers go to waste.
• Dating a cannibal is tough… every time I upset him, he just says, “You’re next.”
• That awkward moment when a cannibal calls you a snack and means it literally.
• Life is short. Especially if you’re friends with a cannibal.
• Ever wonder why cannibals are always smiling? Their meals never complain.
• The secret to a great relationship? Never be with a cannibal during a food shortage.
• A vegetarian friend told me cannibalism is wrong. So I told him he was safe.
• I got invited to a cannibal dinner party. The invite just said “BYOH” (Bring Your Own Human).
• Cannibals don’t need a gym membership. They just eat the weak.
• The best way to avoid a cannibal? Be too spicy for their taste.
• A cannibal opened a restaurant. The motto? “You are what you eat.”
• Zombies eat brains, but cannibals are foodies with higher standards.
• The best horror story? A cookbook written by a cannibal.
• Never trust a chef who winks at you while sharpening his knife.

From flirty texts to professional responses, Smartrepliez.com delivers ready-to-use lines that make conversations easy and fun.

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Cannibalism Jokes

• My boss is like a cannibal—always eating up my free time.
• The office potluck got weird when Jim brought “mystery meat.”
• Our company motto: “Teamwork makes the dream work… unless Dave eats you first.”
• The employee of the month at a cannibal’s office? Whoever didn’t get eaten.
• I told my boss I was feeling drained. He said, “Perfect, I prefer my meals with less blood.”
• The breakroom smells weird. Either it’s expired leftovers or Dave got promoted to lunch.
• If HR calls you in and licks their lips, run.
• Bob disappeared last week… but oddly enough, Greg’s fridge is always stocked.
• The worst company benefit? Free lunch… provided by last month’s intern.
• Cannibal CEOs don’t downsize—they digest.
• New office rule: No discussing lunch while in the same room as a known cannibal.
• The office fridge has a new rule: No human remains past Wednesday.
• “Climbing the corporate ladder” means something very different in a cannibal-run business.
• My boss has a “hands-on” leadership style. No one is sure if that’s a metaphor.
• Team-building exercises got suspiciously intense after Steve went missing.

Click Here To Read About: OP Meaning Slang: What It Really Means Online, in Gaming, and Everyday Chat

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Date Night With a Cannibal: Love at First Bite

• I thought my date was going well until he asked if I was marinated.
• She said she likes guys with “good taste”… now I’m scared.
• My Tinder date said he’s a “foodie.” Turns out, that was a warning.
• When a cannibal says they’re falling for you, run.
• She complimented my skin. I don’t think it was a flirt.
• He whispered, “You look delicious.” That’s not romantic, Greg.
• My date asked if I wanted to be his dinner… not in a cute way.
• I’m into red flags, but “professional chef” was misleading.
• He ordered steak, rare. Then looked at me.
• My date offered me wine… and a side of Jeff.
• I asked for sushi, he suggested “Steve-shi.”
• Cannibals don’t ghost people… they digest them.
• My ex was a cannibal. He said I was too sweet.
• What’s worse than a bad date? A date that turns into a missing person’s case.
• His fridge was empty, but his freezer was suspiciously full.

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Funny Cannibal Jokes

• Grandma’s cooking is always a surprise. Sometimes, it’s Uncle Bob.
• Thanksgiving with a cannibal? You better not be the turkey.
• My mom told me to clean my plate. I’m scared she meant it literally.
• Dad said, “You are what you eat.” I suddenly don’t trust him.
• The family recipe is a secret… because it’s illegal.
• Grandma’s meatloaf is suspiciously homemade.
• When a cannibal family says grace, they’re just thanking you in advance.
• My cousin went missing last Christmas. Dinner was oddly filling.
• Uncle Joe brought a “plus one”… then ate them.
• Grandma always says, “Eat up, you’re too skinny.” I take that as a warning.
• The worst family tradition? Dinner roulette.
• At a cannibal’s house, leftovers aren’t an option.
• Mom’s favorite spice? Fear.
• Family reunions get smaller every year.
• Dad’s new cookbook is titled, “People Pleasers.”

Click Here To Read About: ☠️ 531+ Anthony Jeselnik Best Jokes That Are Brutally Funny

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Conclusion:

Laughed? Cringed? Either way, you survived! Now, go share these jokes before they come back to bite you.

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